He tells me that he loves me
I ask him if he has ever been in love
He replies “no but I do love you”
I respond “how do you know if you have never been in love”
He answers “I know because I have never felt this way before, when I think of my future I turn my head and see you beside me. You go through my mind literally all the time, no matter what it is I’m thinking about, it revolves around you. When I have nothing to do, I look at pictures of you and it is fun for me, it brings joy into my life and I love you for it. I know what I’m feeling and I know it well. I know for a fact I want to be with you and our future is what drives me to do better everyday, so I don’t think I love you, I know I do.”
I wake up
Realize it is nothing but a memory now. I have only a few vivid memories of my life due to my car accidents but the ones of him remain the most vivid, the ones I can feel and almost touch, at my finger tips yet yet still possible I feel it slipping away again.
“I think of my future I turn my head and see you” “I don’t think I love you, I know I do.” those words remain embedded in my mind as I see this is nothing but the past. My past.
“I turn my head and see you” yet now he tells me he no longer sees me in it.
I ask why and he cant even give me an answer. Tells me its not my fault but how could it not be if he is leaving me when we are perfect together?
“and see you” but he no longer wants to facetime me, nor have my pictures up, picture by picture he deletes the only trace of me in his life and I start to feel less and less important. I feel the distance and then I hear
“I don’t think I love you, I know I do.” yet he is telling me the reasons he must leave me and I answer back “If you loved me you wouldn’t leave me” He no longer sounds certain. Answers me with “I just have to”
I have no choice but to understand and then again, “I don’t think I love you, I know I do.” replays in my mind, “but how? How do you love me but tell me you are leaving?” “I must” he tells me and I accept it, I have to. I no longer know the person who told me he loved me in the first place. With a blink of an eye, he is gone and I sit there listening to the silence because at this moment it speaks too loud. Then all I hear is “When I look at my future, I no longer see you in it and just because I love you doesn’t mean we need to be together”
I haven’t anything else since.